Making A Career Mistake

I’ve been at my new job for six weeks now and I am starting to get the hang of things. My boss has me working with a big, important, and innovative client. My team likes working with me. I have already made some impactful changes that is improving the way things are done. To top it all off, the company is doing very well financially and, should it make the right changes, could very well make its way to success.

In spite of all this, I think I made a mistake taking this job.

I was right to quit my old job. The organization had a lot of problems that, over the years, had led to a lot of emotional baggage. Morale was low, infrastructure was breaking, and the long term trajectory of the industry was iffy.

But there were good things at that job too. Friends whose company I enjoyed, interesting and moderate workload, lots of variety, and by the time I left some sense of expertise.

At my new job, I have… none of these things. Some of my coworkers are fine but none seem open to new friends. The work is much easier than my last job, but there’s so much more of it and my clients, somehow, are 10x more demanding than any I’ve ever had to deal with before. And every time I ask a question to technical contributors not on my primary team, they look at me like I’m an idiot to be endured at best.

If it were just that list, though, I wouldn’t feel as I do now. In fact, I worried for a while that I was just dealing with the new job blues. But I’ve realized that there are big issues that I hadn’t considered before at this place, the kind I wouldn’t have been able to gauge in an interview. My boss (contrary to the “let me know if I can help”) doesn’t have time to mentor me in any meaningful way (or if they do it just adds more work I’m super not interested in doing on my plate), there are significant process issues that senior leadership has failed to make, and frankly I find the client management part of my job to be tedious rather than invigorating (turns out, quality of client matters a lot!).

I also feel like the career change element was probably not what I wanted either. Like, what I am doing now is way easier than the work at my old job. That said, I feel so much less satisfied with the type of work I am doing. Far less technical and therefore in my brain less cache.

So now I’m here six weeks in wondering… well… what next? I could wait it out at this job for a couple years until my non-compete runs out and go back to my old industry, opening up my own shop. Or I could just bite the bullet and become a developer already. It’s still probably too early to quit, right? Sigh. Maybe this is all there is?

Anyway, that’s what’s up with my life, work-wise lately.

Have you ever made a bad career decision? Do you feel like you ever recovered? If so, how?

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Financial Update – July 2018

Each month I will post an update on my finances to both give you, the reader, some insight into my situation and to give me markers of my progress on my financial journey. My updates consist of two parts:

  • Financial Progress Table – Tracks net worth progress.
  • Spending Table – Compares monthly spending to an average (for me) “bare bones” budget, keeping me accountable for additional expenses.

For now, monthly updates include only my personal net worth and spending. As my fiancé and I combine our finances, updates will shift to cover going values instead.

Financial Progress

Each net worth goal in the Financial Progress table is broken down into undisclosed units of money. My current goal is to reach “Financial Freedom.” By the time I reach this goal I will have:

  • A retirement account that can support us when my fiancé hits 65
  • Two college savings funds funded for four years of in-state public university tuition, room, and board
  • An emergency fund for six or more months of living expenses
  • Sufficient liquidity for my fiancé and/or I to make a career change with one to two years’ runway
  • A mortgage less than two times my gross salary without bonuses

Once “Financial Freedom” is achieved, the focus will then working be towards “Financial Equilibrium”, where the income from investments covers all our ongoing expenses.

July 2018.png

Spending

I’ve created a “bare bones” budget which represents the average minimum amount I can expect to spend each month. This is the minimum amount I need to comfortably live in case of a job loss, emergency, etc. I expect to frequently go over my “bare bones” budget in a number of categories (here’s looking at you, “Groceries & Dining”), but I want to remain accountable to myself when I do so.

For privacy reasons, there are two things I do not include in my spending updates: my monthly mortgage and charitable donations (pegged at 10% of my net income).

July 2018 spend.png

Monthly Summary

I had a whole thing here and then WordPress ate my entire post. Grumble grumble.

Anyway, this month I did okay in spending. The biggest overages were hotel reservations for our honeymoon and ordering various group deliveries for our hosted game nights and the like.

I’ve been in the progress of doing a lot of little financial moves to get our money in order before we get married. I’ve had to call so many customer service lines and I hate it every time. Bleh. Hopefully I’ll get most of the rest done in August so I don’t have to deal with it between our trip and the wedding.

In the non-financial department, life is kind of weird right now. I’m still kind of struggling at work and have yet to develop any sort of proto-friendships there. Meanwhile, there are some things going on in the background with regard to our friends and family that are out of our control but still kind of concerning. And, you know, the world is crumbling apart and our country is still actively abusing migrant children. I feel pretty saturated with despair and worry and sometimes hope. Very, very exhausted.

Notable things that happened this month include:

  • First month at the new job
  • Picked berries for the first time and learned how to make fresh raviolis with friends
  • Went to the Cape for a quick summer vacation

How were your finances in July?

What Is Casual Dress Code Even

It looks like I’ve been getting a lot of traffic on my “Should I Think Less About FIRE?” post. It seems like it came from someone’s email newsletter, but I can’t tell from whom? In any case, thanks internet stranger! And welcome new readers!

I know I’m on break, but I had a couple quick things I wanted to talk about with regard to my new company’s casual dress code.

First of all, “casual” pretends it is not a dress code, but it totally is. It mirrors what I think a lot of us had as school dress codes. As far as I can tell, casual means that one can wear jeans and T shirts, but that things that are more skin-revealing (even tank tops or off-the-shoulder looks which are trendy right now) or bodycon are really out of place.

Even within the realm of T shirts and jeans, some tees are normal and others are out of place. Lightly patterned tees (stripes, dots, little dog prints, etc.) are fine, but emblazoned words and three wolf moon-esque shirts are not. Also, fit is extremely important. Especially if one is literally wearing tees and sweats, the right fit is the one thing keeping wearers from being seen as truly unkempt.

Second of all, my business casual-leaning wardrobe is really close to feeling out of place at my current work place. I’ve been defaulting to my silk shirts and jeans and I’m worried it’s causing people to see me as too dressy to be technical? Like sometimes people don’t bother telling me things I can completely understand because they are “subtle”, but like I would really appreciate people to just tell me in order to perform my job thank you very much. Maybe this is just in my head? A projection of imposter syndrome, perhaps?

In any case, I think I’d be well-served to add a couple more pairs of jeans to my rotation and some non-silk shirts. I don’t really want to just wear tees, personally. Feels too informal. Some minimalist cotton or linen blouses, I reckon, but no button-ups because even as a bust size B, those tend to pucker like whoa. Recommendations welcome!

Third of all, I have a $50 credit to Saks through a new Amex partnership via my Platinum card. I can burn the credit between now and the end of the calendar year. It’s enough to buy maybe a third of a garment? Not really sure how and whether I’ll end up using this.

Alright, back to my exponentially increasing to do list!

Does your workplace have a “casual” dress code? What does that even mean? Any minimalist cotton or linen tops you’d recommend?

Taking A Break

Hey y’all,

So, between the new job, wedding planning, combining finances, Ireland trip, and contemplating the end of the republic, I’m pretty busy right now. Therefore, I’ll be taking a hiatus from putting up content on this blog. I’ll still be reading other people’s sites here and there and may comment and put up sporadic posts, but will probably not resume regular posting at least until the fall.

Hope you have a good summer!

-YAPFB

First Thoughts On The New Job

A mishmosh of thoughts in no particular order:

My commute is so much shorter than at my last job and it is amazing. That extra 40 minutes a day makes a huge difference in my energy levels.

There’s a lot for me to do here. Which on the one hand is okay since I have a pretty good idea of the steps I need to take to make a real impact. On the other hand, I’m still feeling lazy and like I just want to continue to read books, idly amble about the neighborhood, eat at all the nice lunch buffets nobody else goes to because they’re busy working, and watch GLOW all day. Is that too much to ask? (Yes, obvs.)

I feel like I’m ramping up on our systems very quickly. It probably helps that I spent a ton of time in my funemployment researching the company, interviewing the team for pre-job input, and reading MBA-esque books to prepare.

I don’t understand people who get “bored” in retirement. Were it not for money and all that, I could have readily extended my month of funemployment for years without a problem.

How am I so freaking tired from sitting!?

My anxiety is being super mellow right now and I’m kind of concerned? This is the first time I’ve majorly switched contexts and have felt basically nothing. Like, super blasé. No anxious flutters, no desperately wanting to impress or please. No excitement either, even though I felt really pumped about this transition only a month ago. Is this normal? Am I depressed right now?

Everybody seems nice, inoffensive, and not cynical here. It makes me feel weirdly uncomfortable… what does that say about me as a person?

I think part of the reason I feel so emotionally uninvested right now is probably because fiancé and I have decided, unless there’s a significant turn in the political tides, that we need to seriously consider moving next year. I feel ambivalently like I am both overreacting and underreacting. It’s been taking up a lot of brain space. Ugh. I don’t even know how to live life as if everything’s “normal” anymore.

I’m so unused to talking to new people. So many times new colleagues came up to me with, “Hi!” and I responded, “Good! I mean, hi!” Facepalm.

Have you ever felt “meh” during the first week at a new job? Any tips for making the transition back to work?

 

Financial Update – June 2018

Each month I will post an update on my finances to both give you, the reader, some insight into my situation and to give me markers of my progress on my financial journey. My updates consist of two parts:

  • Financial Progress Table – Tracks net worth progress.
  • Spending Table – Compares monthly spending to an average (for me) “bare bones” budget, keeping me accountable for additional expenses.

For now, monthly updates include only my personal net worth and spending. As my fiancé and I combine our finances, updates will shift to cover going values instead.

Financial Progress

Each net worth goal in the Financial Progress table is broken down into undisclosed units of money. My current goal is to reach “Financial Freedom.” By the time I reach this goal I will have:

  • A retirement account that can support us when my fiancé hits 65
  • Two college savings funds funded for four years of in-state public university tuition, room, and board
  • An emergency fund for six or more months of living expenses
  • Sufficient liquidity for my fiancé and/or I to make a career change with one to two years’ runway
  • A mortgage less than two times my gross salary without bonuses

Once “Financial Freedom” is achieved, the focus will then working be towards “Financial Equilibrium”, where the income from investments covers all our ongoing expenses.

June 2018

Spending

I’ve created a “bare bones” budget which represents the average minimum amount I can expect to spend each month. This is the minimum amount I need to comfortably live in case of a job loss, emergency, etc. I expect to frequently go over my “bare bones” budget in a number of categories (here’s looking at you, “Groceries & Dining”), but I want to remain accountable to myself when I do so.

For privacy reasons, there are two things I do not include in my spending updates: my monthly mortgage and charitable donations (pegged at 10% of my net income).

June 18 spend.png

Monthly Summary

I spent a lot of money and my net worth went down due to lack of income. Oh well. No big deal. There are things I’m way more anxious about than money right now.

Summer is finally here which means it’s time for travel! I visited my brother in Chicago for his graduation and I got really lazy about taking public transportation so I spent approximately $200 just on taxis alone.

I also booked our flights to Dublin for our honeymoon this fall, so that took up another $600 or so after using up our Amex points. I’m kind of annoyed by the personalized pricing mechanisms that make ticket prices escalate between searches for the same itineraries. I usually can just clear my cookies or use a VPN to see base level prices but it is a hassle.

Credit card related pro tip, though: If you want to liquidate your Amex points for 1 cent/point, just book some travel and ask for a refund within 24 hours. The refund comes back in the form of cash instead of points.

Other overages came in the form of food (obviously), thrice annual water bill, and a new scanner so I could use some of my free time to finally digitize all the papers I’d been storing for years. I also had to shell out $100 to pay for my SDIRA that houses my Lending Club account. Just one more way that my P2P investing experiment has been super disappointing.

Notable things that happened this month include:

How were your finances in June?

What Kind Of Life Do I Want To Live?

I have been pretty alone with my thoughts lately, which has put me in a wee bit of a quarter life crisis.

It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s just f-i-n-e.

To pull myself out of this morass, though, I want to do something positive. Like identifying what kind of person I want to be in my life. I need a goal in order to create a plan, right?

Some of the things I outline below are less plausible than others based on my current behaviors, which I note. Some are also less important to me than others, which I also note.

Alright, with that said, let’s get started. I want to, in my life:

Very important

  • Raise two well-adjusted children. (more likely)
  • Maintain good health well into my old age. (likely)
  • Be seen as a highly technical person. (unlikely)
  • Create a deep and lasting impact on the lives of others. (unlikely)

Commentary: I have a bit of imposter syndrome when it comes to being seen as a “highly technical” person which, for those not in STEM, is code for “has an iota of intellectual worth.” This reflects a really dumb and toxic part of STEM culture but it’s in my brain now and I have to deal with it before it eats me alive. I’d also like to make a lasting impact on others which, given my current introverted, risk-averse, what-if-I-mess-things-up-even-more? nature is harder. I think developing a more specialized skill set will help me make it more possible though.

Important

  • Foster multiple children. (somewhat likely)
  • Be the kind of person that invites mentees or those in need into my home for meals with my family and makes them feel loved and cared for. (unlikely)

Commentary: It is important to me to be a generous person showing love for the people and in the language I care most about: children and food, respectively. While I think fiancé and I will end up fostering one day, I think I need to be more proactive about establishing other types of relationships with others wherein I am offering knowledge, assistance, and just warm human kindness instead of just taking it.

Somewhat important

  • Speak multiple languages. (unlikely)
  • Have my art or writing recognized at a national level. (very unlikely)
  • Create a successful company that works to solve difficult societal issues. (very unlikely)
  • Establish a large charitable foundation. (very unlikely)
  • Have someone write a biography of my life posthumously. (very unlikely)

Commentary: Here we get into various legacy-building items. I guess I want to be remembered? It feels vain to say it, but it’s true. I’d also like to be a polyglot– I am currently monolingual to a fault in spite of years of language instruction. Ideally I’d like to be able to speak Spanish (easier since I’m okay-proficient, just downloaded a bunch of Spanish-language podcasts to listen to) and Mandarin (way, way harder). Unless I force myself into an immersive setting, I don’t know that I’ll be able to make much progress on this.

Not very important

  • Establish multigenerational wealth. (likely)
  • Write and direct a movie. (very unlikely)

Commentary: It’s funny that one of the least important but ideal things (establishing family wealth) is perhaps one of the things I spend the most time on. I’d also like to direct a movie one day but given that I have zero related skills, that seems like a big leap.

What kind of person do you want to be? Are you that person already?